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once in a Black Moon

The thoughts associated with this expression began December 29, 2024 as the Black Moon was the next day. I had never heard of the term until around that time, as one of my favorite colors is Black and I love the Moon; I was intrigued. The events around that time were displeasing, forcing me to introspect and reflect; as well as turn my thoughts, feelings, and emotions toward my desires, goals, dreams, and aspirations .  At the turn of the year, I was laser focused on my boundaries, self- love, and as stated my desires and such. The clarity has increased, as has my discipline in attaining balance while achieving the accomplishments I've outlined for myself. With each obstacle finding the ability to pivot and remain on my path simultaneously was a call for trust, bravery, courage, and perseverance. I will admit, I am proud of myself. It is not until this moment, I can see why my therapist recently shared with me during a conversation regarding the approach of my final sessions that s...

back to life

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 " I feel more alive now than I ever have in my life. I have a chance to live, as I've dreamed." Nina Simone In the not so distant past I had a thought, I contemplated then attempted to allow my soul to leave my body; with encouragement from loved ones "on the other side" I attempted with all my might to no avail. With the awareness of my inability to detach my soul from my body, I pondered the reasoning behind it; even questioning "what's keeping you here?" to my dismay I realized as one who would have "chosen the sea" [a feeling I know all too well, as I was reminded of when re-visiting   "Inland Empress" ]  perhaps my soul was anchored to the bottom of the Ocean as a true commitment to " Mermaid Life" as I often proclaim. So I grabbed a couple of my bags and headed to my car with the destination being a particular beach; with the intention of allowing my body to find my soul at the bottom of the Ocean. As I dro...

a change has come

"I want to talk about everything with at least one person as I talk about things with myself." Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821- 1881) I spoke with my neurologist the other day as a follow up concerning the stroke I experienced last August. I've learned to read the after visit summary and doctor's notes when they are available through the health center's portal. That was the first time I've read the location within my brain where the stroke occurred. The neurologist never disclosed such information to me, however, since the introduction to psychology course I took in the beginning of the Spring semester; learning the inner workings of the brain I understood a level of gratitude that surpassed what I felt before. Had the severity of the stroke been more impactful, I could have been subjected to a quality of life vastly different than what I see in my prayers. The alternative to what the experience was and what it could have been is— I would have passed to another real...

destination- happiness

 "The pen writes, but the heart shapes the words."  — Persian Proverb In this moment I realize the events of the other day caused me to experience a multitude of emotions.    As the day begun, I already knew I had a workshop at my school, in preparation for Summer and Fall Semesters.   Since I have anxiety challenges, I tend to check in with myself often; during those moments  I am intentional with my prayers and meditation, as I prepared to arrive.  For me , anxiety challenges also  include social anxiety; as I got myself together for the drive I felt  anxious and excited. As I drove, I shifted between prayer and meditation. My philosophy regarding such is that prayer is when I petition, ask, or request knowledge, wisdom, understanding, etc.  from  God; while meditation is when I listen for or recognize when God is talking  to me . I've acknowledged an aspect within myself of having the desire to "control"   everything ; ...