Posts

Showing posts from 2023

how high do you want to get?

“I know you’re tired but come, this is the way.” ~Rumi This year really tried me, tired me out, but the fight has just begun. As 2024 approaches and a New Year along with a new age finds me at a point in my life that I've never imagined. I feel as if I am in an alternate Universe and praying I find my way back to the life of my dreams. I am not quite ready to share exactly what has been going on with me, but I will say the past two (2) months have been a challenge to say the least. I find myself inspired by the simplest things and finding gratitude in the most unlikely spaces. I've fallen in love with the music I entertain as well as the gift of  creativity.  I could share some cliché parables regarding the matters at hand, but I figure that would only leave confusion in my vague attempt to share without actually sharing. When the time is right I will discover the best outlet to share; until then we'll just move on to figuring out what this expression is actually about.  As

chapter 2023

It's the beginning of December and it seems as if the year flew by; I hope you all enjoyed the recent "holiday" and got a chance to spend quality time with loved ones. So far I have a few appointments set up along with the end of the Fall semester, which made me realize I'll be out of school for about a month. For those who know me personally, you can imagine how much anxiety this realization created. The idea of the amount of time I spend studying and completing assignments which allows me to progress in my education, but also eases some of the boredom I find myself experiencing on a regular basis. I've already looked into a few puff & paint classes, I even looked into sip & paint; only because I really want to paint although I would rather puff than sip.  Two (2) joints in and as  I sit at my laptop random thoughts cross my mind, beginning with a thought about music and how much I enjoy discovering new artists and their work. Now I am remembering the

floating in a pleasant mind and body high

Staring at the page thoughts of what to share flood my mind. I have a pretty eventful week approaching and although I said recently that I wasn't quite in the mood to socialize, I think my mind may have changed. Party tonight, appointments on Tuesday then Thanksgiving on Thursday. As always I will not be participating in the rush of stores on "Black Friday" , however, I may take advantage of some "Cyber Monday" sales... I don't know if you call them anniversaries or memorials, but this time last year I was involved in a car accident, which I am still recovering from mentally as well as physically (slightly). I've been able to recognize areas in my mind where there is fear in regard to driving at times. It is my intention to overcome such fear and return to a place where I enjoy driving again.  As words to share begin to escape me I listen to the lyrics of the song playing in an attempt to generate some type of inspiration. Another song plays... Thoughts

fly me to the Moon

"fly me to the Moon/ and let me play among the stars..." Doris Day, fly me to the Moon (in other words) With the weather being moody I haven't been on my fitness routine as I would like to be. It's projected to rain soon and of course I will not take the risk of getting sick. Also, my efforts to stop smoking [cigarettes] has become more challenging than expected. Receiving some not so pleasant news recently has me smoking as usual rather than the decrease I saw prior to said news. However, through it all I've decided to create an alkaline body for myself, one which I suppose I won't have the desire to smoke a cigarette any longer.  I am looking forward to the week break from coursework and studies, although I do plan to read a chapter for my Philosophy course in order to get a jump start on the week to come. Again, had I planned this out better I would be on an island right now; yet here we are... Yesterday when I titled this expression I wanted to get on a je

passion

 "I am dominated by Love, by my passion of love for Love" Rumi I am consumed with love not in the sense of how love is depicted in romantic films or songs; well, maybe some songs, but it is otherworldly. In how I care for my loved ones and show love to myself, I recently spoke of love languages in my last expression, "green lights all the way" and after completing yet another 5 love languages quiz I now accept that my love language is all of 'em! The quiz suggests that some love languages are stronger than others, however, for me, I feel as if it depends on the mood I'm in. I am not that big on receiving gifts yet on some occasion I love to receive them, especially if they are thoughtful and meaningful. I also have a strong desire to be touched, often; but not by any one it has to be particular people in a particular way. I am not saying the quiz or its results are flawed, I just believe that the importance of each changes from moment to moment depending on

green lights all the way

 "your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." ~Rumi I have been searching within to find areas of my heart where the walls are, I'm sure you're aware of the walls I am speaking of; the ones that bares the "keep out" signage all around. Recently, my Mom overheard me having a conversation, once the call ended she said "I love seeing that side of you" , of course I inquired of the side she spoke of; her reply was "your soft side" .  I smiled, what do you say in response to that? I had nothing in that moment, now that the moment has passed and I think of those words, I find myself recognizing growth. I can recall a time when "idgaf" was my motto about everything . I was so detached from my family, community and myself, not caring about the outcome of anything yet praying for things to remain good or get better. With many years and much work I'v

every season is me season 2

    “I can do nothing for you but work on myself... you can do nothing for me but work on yourself!” ―  Ram Dass,  Be Here Now As mentioned I rushed at the end of "every season is me season" , not on purpose, but in order to make my workout on time. The work out was great! I pushed a little further than the days before, unfortunately I did not do the stairs as I thought I'd be driving a lot today. I did not think of a title until the end when I decided to bring the expression to an end for above said reasons. Typically, some people announce their "me season" around their birthday; suggesting that they are focused on themselves and their projected goals or plans for their new age. However, I believe "me season" should be year around. Giving room to grow, unlearn things which are no longer serving our highest good along with any health (mental, physical, spiritual, emotional), wellness or other type of goals.  When thinking on the things shared in the

every season is me season

  “I can do nothing for you but work on myself... you can do nothing for me but work on yourself!” ―  Ram Dass,  Be Here Now While giving thought to my contributions to the people in my life, I feel as if I've changed in some ways; I feel as if the changes embodied have been for my highest good. A few expressions ago, I mentioned a conversation with my nail technician who asked me when was I going to begin taking better care of myself? As her words melted my heart all I could muster to say was "you're right." It was around that time that I challenged myself to stay the course when it comes to my health regimen. Aside from the agreement with myself to stop smoking, I have been doing a good job. The above quote spoke to me as I am reminded of my self-care and how I can only contribute to others with the overflow of how I've taken care of myself. When I was not fully taking the best care of myself I found that I was often cranky, irritated and tired. It wasn't u

desire

- a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment. dictionary Initially I was going to write something for my lover; I decided against it however, I thought of another aspect of desire to share with you. Monday was the first day of my last Fall courses along with my return to fitness. My desire has become a healthy body and a few other private goals, so beginning these enhancements has come to bring enjoyment to my life. I began my fitness journey by walking a little over a mile; I intend to gradually increase the distance. I walked again Tuesday, staying consistent with my "little over a mile" I find myself impressed with the fact that I walked, almost nonstop with no music. A friend and I have taken two "trails" thus far, walking, talking sometimes while silent other times. The plan is to use an app called "All Trails" and choose various trails to "hike" about three times per week, choosing different trails pre

pass the dutchie

"pass the dutchie 'pon the left hand side" ~musical youth, pass the dutchie The aroma of reefer fills the room and the song plays inspiring the writer within. I've decided to stop smoking cigarettes and stick solely to marijuana, in the past I only smoked sativa leaving me with an overstimulated pineal gland. After over five years of exclusively partaking in sativa, my third eye took me on a trip I never want to experience again. I have now embraced the benefits of hybrid and indica strains, smoking sativa sparingly. After prayer, meditation, research and an honest chat with myself I've decided to begin hiking... well, walking as a start, but when I think of it, hiking is basically walking with a purpose. In addition I intend to begin juicing and I've even found some herbs which will assist with the goal of stopping smoking. I made a point to avoid the word "quit" or "quitting" smoking as we have been indoctrinated with negative connotat

Moonchild

"The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It's always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it's a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.  Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfection." ~Teheran Mafi, Shatter Me I feel this quote captures my love for the Moon in its entirety. As some of you know, I fell in love with the Moon many Summers ago; interestingly enough it was around the time I was eleven or twelve, maybe thirteen. I know I was at least eleven and it was Summer, I stood outside while doing laundry and was mesmerized by the Full Moon. The Moon was gigantic, bright and Full; almost the fullest I've ever seen it. I stood under the Moonlight with my "best friend" at the time, we had been friends since I was five and she was six; unfortunately our friendship ended as we beca

smoke in my eye

This song ( " Young Love" by Cleo Sol ) came on and initially I skipped it, then my 11 year old self said “listen to it”;  so I did. Next thing I know my eyes are wet. I don’t know if it was the song or I got smoke in my eye. I especially liked the part that says: " Little young, girl, don't you cry,  I know you're wise, but you've been fooled a few times" .  After a bit of research, I recall I was in the sixth grade doing what sixth graders do, watching popular television shows, like "The Cosby Show" and "Beverly Hills, 90210" . I also went to see "Boyz 'n the Hood"  with my Dad. I am unsure, but I believe at the time I wanted to be a doctor, then an attorney, later I wanted to be a psychologist. That one stuck for a long time, that is until I entered college as a psychology major and found myself facing various circumstances causing me to drop out.   Cleo Sol sings: I know you wanna be someone, you need something mor

coming into view

I've been doing a modified version of the master cleanse for a couple weeks, rather than abstaining from food for the entire ten days I've chosen to eat small portions when hungry; such as fruit, salad, soup, etc. This method is working so far concerning eczema however, the weight loss aspect is rather slow since that is not the primary focus. I find myself being elevated much easier and longer lasting than when not focusing so much on my health, wellbeing lifestyle. During various periods of my adulthood I've tuned in totally to one aspect of myself while neglecting others, these days I am actively making a conscious effort to maintain a complete evaluation of my self (mind, body, soul and spirit).  Last night while admiring the Full Moon, I was in awe to see a "Moonbow" in the night's sky. Interestingly enough, I could not remember the exact reasoning until knowledge from my recent Astronomy course came to mind and I was able to gain another explanation o