King Kamille

"you cannot have love if your heart is closed" - Iyanla Vanzant I feel as if chapters are ending in my life; the search for happiness has lead to acknowledging voids in my heart which have created the expression or feeling of unhappiness. As I look a bit closer, I realize it wasn't necessarily unhappiness, but more of disappointment; in outcomes. As William Shakespeare wrote: "expectation is the root of all heartache" so as the days have passed I have been working on my expectations and learning to eliminate the ones no longer serving me. I'm sure I've written about expectations in the past and how my philosophy is that they are absolutely necessary and how I hold myself to high expectations; with the flexibility to adjust where/as needed. However the trouble comes in when holding others to my expectations. Recently I read a quote which stated (possibly paraphrased), "don't expect people to be you" along with another quote which

"your art is not about how many people like your work your art is about if your heart likes your work if your soul likes your work it's about how honest you are with yourself and you must never trade honesty for relatability" - @chakrahealingvibes (Instagram) Oftentimes I am not sure what to write; usually I allow the words to flow and make sense of themselves, lately however I've been too  indecisive about what I want to share on the blogs and what I want to keep to myself. As much as I know that will only lead to overthinking and such I am making progress as far as not allowing the insecurity to stop me. At one point, even in resent times I have had the thought that I've "lost" my inspiration to share. Which is not the case, however a writer without a muse is an interesting space to be in. As the season changes from Spring to Summer I am forced to reckon with the reality of the year passing by with so much hope and antici

With nearly every planet in retrograde ( Jupiter , Pluto , Saturn and Uranus  with Neptune going retrograde June 18- November 27), I am currently feeling a bit out of sorts; I guess you can say. Add into the mix this past weekends New Moon, I feel as if I have been sent into orbit. There's a gleeful expression awaiting the words to describe the feeling. However, I don't really know how to be happy anymore; blame bipolar disorder or the circumstances over the past 7 years... Like that quote says, "we all have chapters we don't read aloud" , I sporadically have flashbacks of specific periods where I was either nearly homeless or committed to psych wards and the events leading up to those times as well as the people who played a certain role in those situations. I try to forgive, and to some extent I have, then I think about where I am today; although everything isn't "blue skies and rainbows" , thankfully they aren't as bleak as they once wer