King Kamille

  "maybe you are searching among the branches, for what only appears in the roots" Rumi The energy of the New Moon has me in my feelings, giving me a craving for Cherry Pie  I suppose wanting to experience the feelings of relaxation and another space in happiness. I think I've been a little moody lately; I am not sure because I tend to spend a lot of time with myself and my puppy. He got high today, usually when I smoke he leaves the room; for some unknown reason he decided to stay (I think I attribute that to the Moon as well) . After nearly a year I have yet to unpack and at times that makes me feel overwhelmed, to the point I don't know where to begin. As I was reading my blog I was reminded of my hopes and dreams, especially the new ones, giving them the time and space necessary to develop. I haven't thought about that strain in quite some time, I couldn't even begin to guess how many years it's been. Yet, I recall the feeling of it and the thoughts th

I had a cough for about a month or so; which contributed to my lack of expressions on the blogs and social media. I am much better now, which lets me know that it was not anything to be concerned about. Since I was monitoring my cough I choose not to smoke marijuana during that time, I noticed a difference in myself when I was "sober" ; I've learned a few things about some habits I have that I need to "break" , I've also learned to acknowledge my value and how I see myself. I  believe during my impromptu tolerance break I took a dive into my self; I thought a bit about what my passions are and what new dreams I may have. I did notice a change in my dreams while sleeping, the day dreams have almost remained the same. I feel as if a new life is awaiting me, a life I will be happy in and find passion and joy. I also gave thought into what inspires me since what used to inspire doesn't have that effect any longer. A while ago there was a night where a peace

I haven't smoked for a little while and in as many days I've had trouble sleeping, of course I believe the two things are connected. I'm awake with random thoughts and I begin to obsess (blame OCD ). As I type I am contemplating rolling up just so the night doesn't turn into morning again ; I have yet to decide. As the music plays in the background I am consumed with thoughts of being in a space of relaxation that only cannabis can provide, so I begin to pull out my tools and reach for the animal mints . Once the blunts are rolled I began to zone out, actually in that space of relaxation I mentioned before. This morning I added animal mints cannabis oil to my coffee and began my day of organizing and cooking. I then remember the nights this week where I was fortunate enough to gaze at the Moon at my leisure,  I then realize that I hadn't done my monthly check-in tarot spread. So I looked up the site where I find the questions to ask myself when pulling cards and I

For some reason I felt like typing, this rarely happens and since that's the case I don't know what I intend to share. I was a bit social earlier today so now I need a moment with the usual suspects: music, vanilla incense, marijuana and tonight, vodka (with cranberry and a splash of lemon). I feel good; mellow and a bit in my head, thanks to animal mints  I've been smoking it exclusively for about a week or two now and I am enjoying the effects, which are said to be relaxation and happiness; that feels accurate. I am beginning to feel sleepy so I'm going to call it a night and continue at a later time. I feel a bit irritated by a particular situation and I don't know how I'm going to resolve it. The idea of closure is so far fetched and the chances of being lied to are high, I've decided not to inquire; but I'm annoyed. I feel as if things were exaggerated with out reason. I don't like feeling this way and I don't quite see a way out of it just

"Don’t fall in love with a woman who reads, a woman who feels too much, a woman who writes... Don’t fall in love with an educated, magical, delusional, crazy woman. Don’t fall in love with a woman who thinks, who knows what she knows and also knows how to fly; a woman sure of herself. Don’t fall in love with a woman who laughs or cries making love, knows how to turn her spirit into flesh; let alone one that loves poetry (these are the most dangerous), or spends half an hour contemplating a painting and isn't able to live without music. Don’t fall in love with a woman who is interested in politics and is rebellious and feel a huge horror from injustice. One who does not like to watch television at all. Or a woman who is beautiful no matter the features of her face or her body. Don’t fall in love with a woman who is intense, entertaining, lucid and irreverent. Don’t wish to fall in love with a woman like that. Because when you fall in love with a woman like that, whether she sta

"I am the daughter of myself. I am born of my own dream. My dream sustains me." Rosario Castellanos I attempted to complete a tarot spread, but I felt as if my heart wasn't in it so I said I'd revisit it at a later time. I've been doing well in this heat, thankful that I'm not experiencing triple digit weather; although it's pretty close. It was a bit dramatic how the weather changed with the season, I love Summer; I don't see that changing in this lifetime, but some days; like today it would've been nice to have cooler temperatures. I did however enjoy a pool day!  I saw the above quote and thought it would be great for an expression on the blog; I am not completely sure how I interpret it. I suppose it has to do with soul contracts and such, which I don't fully believe in; or should I say I don't fully understand. However I do feel as if there's a dream which sustains me; I feel as if I was born for something, I guess that's why I

"she may not understand the world, but she understands herself. and that's the most divine thing about her"  unknown I've been thinking a lot about my purpose again; this time allowing myself to embody whatever it is that my spirit knows. I found myself looking for inspiration; not only in writing, but in life in general. I now know why it took so long between expressions recently; I was not inspired to write, not even in my personal journals. I haven't written in them for quite some time; then I found a hybrid strain called Dream Walker (Blue Dream x Skywalker OG)  which is said to have the effects of blissfulness and creativity. After smoking that last week the words found me. I was thinking and feeling emotions I thought were healed; in some ways they were, but in other ways I still have some growing to do. I used to have some regrets, when they resurfaced I saw angles in which I had never thought of before. I had been  "beating myself up" for a dec

“Night is purer than day; it is better for thinking, loving, and dreaming. At night everything is more intense, more true. The echo of words that have been spoken during the day takes on a new and deeper meaning.” ~  Elie Wiesel I saw the Full Moon days ago, it was in the early morning when the day is still and there's hardly anyone out. I sat in silence and took in each breath; praying then meditating. With much on my mind I've neglected writing, again... that crossed my mind during meditation, the fact that I haven't been writing. I've  always preferred the night; I agree with the quote above regarding how it's better for thinking, loving and dreaming, I tend to write mostly in the night hours. I especially love when the Moon is full although I tend to begin writing and somehow the night gets away from me and before I know it a month has gone by; like recently. I've been keeping up with my health; mind, body, soul and spirit; which occupies a lot of my time,

"She didn't quite know what the relationship was between lunatics and the Moon, but it must be a strong. one, if they used a word like that to describe the insane." Paulo Coelho I am thankful to God for answering my prayers. Moving shows you a lot, about yourself, your strength, your tribe, etc. I feel as I enter a new chapter of this life I find myself ready to dig deeper into my being; I am at a point where I want to know myself fully. As the years passed and various health issues have caused some weight gain I believed that the attributes that made me "pretty" were buried underneath. I know I'm at a place to make improvements in my thinking because I am finally willing to admit it in an outlet I feel safest. I've been "dieting" for years, switching things up; taking things out yet the pounds have remained. I am grateful to say they haven't increased, but they haven't decreased significantly. Until recently slimming down by approximat

As I've written in previous post I am thankful to have various outlets to express myself; especially when I am going through things I find less than desirable. I'm all out of golden ticket (insert sad face here)   and I don't know when I'll have more, so I found my faithful blue dream and I realize that my troubles can wait a day. I enjoyed my Sunday and marveled at the Full Moon, which was so big and bright; I nearly missed it thinking it was something else. I blame the drugs; like Katt Williams says in one of his stand-up comedy shows, weed has an ingredient called "fuck it",  today as I allowed the smoke to clear my mind I find myself a bit better than I've been all week. I let out a deep breath and thought "fuck these problems" ; worrying has only made me feel worse, so in order to get my desired outcome I much change my mood and vibrate at a higher frequency. I believe that will help, changing my mindset about the problem altogether; like

"all art is a form of poetry" Rick Rubin  After reviewing some of the drafts on the other blog I realize why I reverted them to drafts in the first place. It seems that's the place I used to write out my feelings towards my emotions, many were so personal I nearly cringed at the fact people read those expressions. Then I think of the posts I've allowed to remain and I can see my growth, learning how much to share and where I should keep certain observations to myself. I think there's an art in growth and the journey is the poetry. I am learning to take each day as they come by doing that I am becoming more in tuned with my higher self. I feel her guide and advise me; even manifesting better outcomes as I make decisions. I've learned to trust myself fully and that's a huge accomplishment, I think that's when I realized that for the first time in a long time I have few distractions hindering me from obtaining the goals I've set for myself. I think b

I was reading through a draft and felt as if I'd read it before; I decided to close the entry and begin anew. Of course I am attempting to find reasons to put off sharing, but it seems the words are coming out as they see fit, even with my nails longer than usual and the typos and speed, or lack of can not frustrate me to the point of stopping.  Prior to writing I completed a few tarot readings for myself, I felt as if things are on track for the path I find myself on; although I don't quite know the destination of the journey just yet. I seem to have this knowing that things are in alignment as I manifest my dreams and decipher my hopes. My tarot readings spoke a lot of mystic messages regarding the subconscious mind as well as change and balance, I feel as if that is just in time as I ease into the new year as well as adjust to my birth date. The New Moon speaks of new beginnings and cycles ending as well as growth. Which makes me think of the New Year, my new age and prayerf

I thought I had healed my brokenheart; that is until a conversation happened which punctured the wound. I realize that if I think of someone each day and not speak to them there's something odd about that. I wrote about it time and time again, this time hoping to gain some insight as to why things are the way they are. I realize I am not in the right emotional space to say the things my heart wants me to, yet I can not seem to shake this feeling of love; although distorted. I wrote recently about being open to a new love if one should show up, however I had to ask myself how will I notice a new lover when I'm stuck on a previous one? I thought I had healed, but in reality I was muffling the aches of desire that I feel for someone who I haven't spoken to in some time. I'd like to think on days like today that I am over it all... the heartache, heartbreak and feeling of longing; but it seems in that conversation I was unable to hide my true feelings and it was called out