King Kamille

I thought I had healed my brokenheart; that is until a conversation happened which punctured the wound. I realize that if I think of someone each day and not speak to them there's something odd about that. I wrote about it time and time again, this time hoping to gain some insight as to why things are the way they are. I realize I am not in the right emotional space to say the things my heart wants me to, yet I can not seem to shake this feeling of love; although distorted. I wrote recently about being open to a new love if one should show up, however I had to ask myself how will I notice a new lover when I'm stuck on a previous one? I thought I had healed, but in reality I was muffling the aches of desire that I feel for someone who I haven't spoken to in some time. I'd like to think on days like today that I am over it all... the heartache, heartbreak and feeling of longing; but it seems in that conversation I was unable to hide my true feelings and it was called out ...

I was in the presence of the Full Moon for a few days  allowing myself to tap into my core self and analyze some thoughts as well as emotions. I sat under the Sky with music and marijuana, specifically Golden Ticket and Blue Dream strains; and at times I sat there in silence, meditating and praying. I felt a level of clarity that I know I grew into, understanding myself in a different light yet feeling connected to everything. I'm sure it had much to do with The Great Conjunction  and all of the magical energy swirling around the atmosphere ever since. Along with the New Year and all of the hopes, dreams and opportunities in mind during such time. I've been anticipating the New Year for many months now; as I am learning my gifts I am at a space where I trust myself and my knowing of things a lot more than in previous years. I was looking forward to the New Moon in Capricorn, from what I read it seems this New Moon is in alignment with many of my recent writings; such as ackn...

"your mind, this globe of awareness, is a starry universe. When you push off with your foot, a thousand new roads become clear". Rumi It took me quite some time to get an understanding of the above quote; however I find myself at a crossroads and I feel as if any decision I make will lead to a thousand new roads.  It wasn't until this moment that I feel the starry universe of my mind trying to figure out which road to take. I find myself stressed, the cause is slightly out of my sight so I don't know exactly what is behind these feelings. I've been praying and meditating, but I have yet to see the answer clearly; I haven't been in this space in a very long time, so I've contacted my doctor to request a referral for a new psychologist. I know I've mentioned going back to my former therapist some time ago, but it wasn't until recently that I knew I needed another "safe space" to share my thoughts, feelings and emot...