how high do you want to get?

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“I know you’re tired but come, this is the way.”

~Rumi

This year really tried me, tired me out, but the fight has just begun. As 2024 approaches and a New Year along with a new age finds me at a point in my life that I've never imagined. I feel as if I am in an alternate Universe and praying I find my way back to the life of my dreams. I am not quite ready to share exactly what has been going on with me, but I will say the past two (2) months have been a challenge to say the least. I find myself inspired by the simplest things and finding gratitude in the most unlikely spaces. I've fallen in love with the music I entertain as well as the gift of creativity. I could share some cliché parables regarding the matters at hand, but I figure that would only leave confusion in my vague attempt to share without actually sharing. When the time is right I will discover the best outlet to share; until then we'll just move on to figuring out what this expression is actually about. 

As usual the music plays and the smoke fills the room as I explore my thoughts which lands on my birth date, thinking of what I'd like to do to celebrate (although it isn't a milestone year; technically, yet for personal reasons I feel as if it will be a milestone for me). Realizing I may have smoked about an eighth yet I feel as if I should smoke a little more; I don't know if my tolerance is too high or if I may have outgrown this strain. Or perhaps, since I am not interacting with anyone at the moment I do not realize how high I actually am? The strain of choice has been Mango Kush however, I think I may need to switch it up to the infused Acapulco Gold for its creative, energetic and uplifting effects. 

Now I feel myself a little giggly and as I type that seems to be the talkative aspect of the Mango Kush mixing with the Acapulco Gold. It's a pleasant hybrid combining the elements of both strains to create a happy disposition. I took a break from writing for a few days and decided I wanted to conclude this expression as the last one of 2023. In the midst of the writing break I was able to spend some time with the last Full Moon of the year. I felt hopeful in those moments, feelings of love and happiness filled me at those times. As I pray for those feelings to come again I believe this year has taught me a lot about myself. Giving myself the opportunity to improve upon some things that I feel are not as strong as they could be as well as exude or enhance the things I believe I am doing "right". My prayer for 2024 is for more love, times of happiness, strength, courage, prosperity and good health; to name a few things. 

I mentioned earlier about the amount of reefer I've inhaled within the past few days and I did hear a song which one of the lyrics asked "how damn high are you tryna get?", knowing that was the title for this expression I did have to ask it of myself. I have no answer as of yet, I just know I  have not reached the heights of where I'd like to be in my celebration of the final day of 2023. Enjoying the atmosphere I've created for myself with loved ones near by I feel as if my choice of where to spend the day was in my favor. Thoughts of my higher self came to mind, allowing me to recognize I am almost as high as I would like to be, causing me to figure out a plan of pacing myself for the hour of the moment. Taking a moment to review January's calendar I realize I have one (1) more week of a break until Spring semester begins. 

Oh, I nearly forgot; I have an update in regard to my weight loss journey, After many years of struggling I have lost another twenty (20) pounds! For the first time in a long time I am seeing results and have even found myself saying (to myself) "this time next year..." which is monumental for me in these times of uncertainty. I am thankful to you all for your support throughout the year and into the years to come. I wish you all success, happiness, love as well as the desires of your heart...

Until next time... Happy New Year!


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