Don't Be Deceived...

As I've shared on my various social media platforms, I've been preparing for 2017 since (roughly) September or October of 2016.  Not in the sense of attempting to predict anything, but more so taking an introspective look into my beliefs, habits and practices.  I took a look at certain things I've been unhappy with/about and reassessed if at this time, or the near future there was anything I could do to course correct.  Although, much of which I will not share, there were some things that I knew I could improve upon.  Shortly after the Universe aligned to provide opportunities for me to begin those changes (should I choose to accept).  What I mean is, through prayer I talk to God; and during this time I share my deepest concerns, my hopes and dreams, as well as the vision I have in my head about my life and the lifestyle I envision for myself (short as well as long-term). Then throughout the day I meditate, I sit quietly, sometimes with music or reading and I allow the Spirit of God to minister to me.  I then hear where I can improve or where my vision may need tweaking.  Sometimes I'll stumble upon an article, website, tweet, instagram post or what have you and it will be right in alignment with an aspect of my prayer or message I received during meditation.  So I've begun implementing a few things and I have noticed quite a bit of change (mostly from within).

Many years ago I was introduced to the concept of affirmations and how you simply visualize the happier, wealthier, insert whatever here "you" and magically the "law of attraction" will create it into your life with little to no effort on your part.  So naively I adapted that practice into my life, picking up a few other philosophies along the way.  It wasn't until I began the master cleanse some years later that things took a turn.  Initially I completed the master cleanse for the 10- days and I will admit, not only did I lose some  unwanted weight (which was the only goal at the time) I also experienced an awakening of sorts.  I changed, I can't say exactly how, but it was noticeable; not only to me, but to others in my "circle".  A few months later I decided to do the cleanse again, this time for more enlightenment.  I completed 15-days and that's exactly what I received; unfortunately, I also began to experience unexpected antagonist.  It seemed as if they came out of "the wood work", which caught me completely off guard as I was "lost" in my "positive vibes only" view point.  I could not understand why somethings as well as some people were doing their damnest to annoy, frustrate, be cruel, etc., to me.  I was so crushed, because I did not understand how I was following the practices yet everything wasn't coming up roses for me.

Throughout the years since I started this journey I've revamped some of those practices and philosophies in a way that would be unique for me.  Where I apply the concept and incorporate what resonates with my beliefs, and if by chance it challenges my beliefs, I pray then meditate and figure out what or why I feel the way I do and from there I know if it's something that fits me or not. One thing I've ditched is the thought relating to the concept of only thinking and speaking positive things and that's ALL that you'll receive.  Don't be deceived... That is not how it works.  For a chosen few maybe; but I can not relate to that.  I do understand (from experience) the message behind the saying “new levels bring new devils" (Bishop T. D. Jakes).  When I first adapted some things into my being I actually had someone reply to an email I'd sent and literally said "I'm just testing to see if this is true" and continued to provoke a particular reaction throughout the correspondence.  To their surprise I did not react in a fashion they'd expected and thankfully since then I've had very limited interaction with them.  As I thought I'd passed my "test" I seemed to have gone into a season of calamity, just one thing after another; of course there was good mixed in, but the rough patch was/is overwhelming.  Yet I continued (and continue) to live each day in alignment with the dreams and goals I have for myself.  At times I will admit I get discouraged, but I've applied Self- Care and Self- Love as a huge priority for myself.

So back to recent days, as I've shared I decided to spend the holiday's alone; not to be antisocial, but to truly get my mind, heart and soul in pace for what I've been telling God and myself I want. One thing that I decided to do was to wish my loved ones a happy and prosperous New Year, unfortunately one of the numbers I texted was not updated and a lovely exchange turned ugly very quickly.  I handled the situation as best as I could and apologized to those who were affected by such negative energy.  However for whatever reason; perhaps Mercury Retrograde, Saturn's positioning, etc., that's how my week has been.  I am not sure where or why this energy is coming to me other than the quote above by Bishop Jakes.  Because if those meme's and such are true and a person ONLY thinks on positive things, conduct themselves in a  positive manner and encourage others to do the same, how or why would that type of person be presented with the exact opposite?  

Interestingly enough I posted yesterday, first on twitter then on instagram a thought that popped into my mind as I was asking myself a similar question.  "I have the simplest goals for 2017; strange how those are the type that attract the most obstacles..."  I thought that while on the verge of tears after a few interactions followed by some reflection on those goals.  I had to ask myself if I were being unreasonable and the answer was "No".  As I've stated I will not share the more personal things, but one of my simple goals for 2017 is to be happy.  I'll go into that backstory another time.  Nevertheless how unreasonable or unrealistic for that matter is to desire happiness? Yet once I said it aloud and wrote it down it seemed as if so many things were attracted to me in an attempt to bring the complete opposite emotions.  True, we can not allow outside influences to affect our perspective or well-being, but we are still human and things will get under our skin.  I guess I am writing this as an attempt to encourage those who may be new or in a peculiar place in their journey and it seems like "I'm doing everything right, but things are still going wrong".  Or maybe for someone who may have experienced this phase of life to offer some type of encouragement as well.  I don't feel as if I know enough to really expound, but what I will say is, from my experience although some times life is rather unpleasant when I look back on what I've gone through and where I am today I can admit that some of those things happened to show me who/what I was dealing with and make a change.  Other times I was able to see myself from a different perspective and adjust my words and/or behavior.  In the end it truly does work out for your best interest.  Yes it may hurt, you may be sad or even unhappy; but those things don't last always and the destination is still worth the journey it takes even with detours and roadblocks.  

A few hours after my declaration for happiness I prayed and before I began to meditate and drift off to sleep I thought "I have a feeling, my next life will be the best one yet".

So I am encouraging myself and hopefully someone who can relate; although things may not go the way we may wish them to be with nothing but blue skies and rainbows, the rain is necessary and beneficial. Sometimes it just takes a bit more time, effort or energy to appreciate it.

Blessings,

Kamille 💗✨