the Moon and a sky full of stars

For some reason I couldn't wait to start a new draft; the laughter and smoke fill the room as Scarface plays in the background. Rocko is asleep; which is great because the fireworks have been getting on his nerves. I've been out of town for the past few days so I am looking forward to going home tomorrow. It's been years since I last saw this film and it doesn't quite hold my attention, not in a bad way; just in a "it is what it is" type of way. I find myself a bit restless as said in my last post; purple clouds, I would like to be at the beach right now, but it's late and I have no one to accompany me. Rocko (my puppy) is snoring, which somehow reminded me that I need to go food shopping in the very near future; one errand that I do not always enjoy. I'm looking forward to a few things next week; such as getting my hair done and puppy sitting for a couple weeks. I've never done that before so we're going to start with a puppy play date and see how well the puppies interact with one another. I believe they will get along well as they are both spoiled and sheltered which means I'll basically treat her like I treat Rocko. My only hope is that he doesn't try or actually hump her; she's a virgin and he's already a puppy daddy of five (5). The good thing is both have been "fixed" so there's no chance of pregnancy; seeing how I can not take being a puppy midwife again. 

December 2017 my two (2) puppies, Rocko and Sasha; ran away. After a week of them being gone I was devastated and anxiety was overwhelming me so I purchased another puppy, Coco Moon. A week later I was reunited with Rocko and Sasha, I quickly took them to their vet and one of my first questions was "is she pregnant" which the response I received after the necessary exam was "no". This was January 2018, sometime in February I look out the corner of my eye after seeing something moving in the corner next to Sasha. As I turn on my bed to get a better view I yell out "a puppy!" to my surprise Sasha was giving birth if her bed in the corner of my bedroom. She went on to have three (3) more before I noticed she didn't take the same care with the last one (1) as she had done with the others, so I took her to the emergency vet and as soon as I placed her on the counter she gave birth to puppy number five (5). Instinctively, I knew something was wrong and sure enough she was having difficulty with the last puppy who later developed a hernia. It was a fulfilled, exhausting, enlightening six to eight (6-8) weeks of being a puppy grandmother and taking care of all eight (8) puppies at once. I learned of my strength during that time, I don't go into the myth of the "strong black woman" because as a black woman I am more than my strength; however I tend to downplay myself and my strength. However this situation brought that to mind as I was actually responsible for myself, my son and eight (8) puppies; the most responsibility I've ever had and I kept everyone alive! 

I've already smoked two (2) Zookies pre-rolls and in the mood to smoke another, however I am still in the clouds. I feel as if I am in my own little world in a room full of people. Joss Stone is singing and making me feel as if I've made a good decision concerning something that was on my mind for the past couple of weeks. Sade comes in and confirms it, I like when Pandora is this way; as if the Universe is speaking to me through songs. I'm burst from my bubble of aloneness as others in the room see me grooving to the music through my headphones and want to be included; so now it's playing on the television for the room to hear. The urge to write is currently conflicting with the urge to smoke since I can not do both without one suffering in a way that I do not wish to experience.  Mary J Blige is singing "be happy" and the lyrics are hitting a bit differently tonight than on other nights. I suppose as I experience happiness for one of my best friend's and his new relationship, I am forced to look at my own relationship status and how the prospects have not risen to the occasion. Although most days I enjoy being single, but times like now where it's the "wee" hours of the day and I yearn to be sitting along the shore, a companion would be a nice; someone to have to sit with me. I love being at the beach at this hour because it is nearly deserted and I can smoke without worry and just enjoy my hippie moment. 

I want to have a hippie summer this year; basically spending lots of time at the beach and smoking good weed with friends and/or family, while random music plays. Sade comes on with "bullet proof soul" and I am reminded of unpinned where I spoke of my disappointment and the lyrics to this song just fits somehow. I spent time with the Moon nearly every night last week and tonight; I'm anticipating the Super Full Moon next week as if I were a child on Christmas. as I am working on my playlist for next Sunday's show on Moon Goddess Radio. While smoking the rest of my pre-roll, Bob Marley comes on and it seems like alignment with the music as he sings "is this love?".  I feel so high I just want to go to sleep and enjoy my dreams, but the turn up isn't over so I'm up writing and watching my sleeping Rocko... I did just that, retired to my dreams and they were magnificent; now I'm broadcasting on Moon Goddess Radio for my "hump day" show. I was looking forward to doing the show this evening; mainly because it gives me something to do during the time when I'm usually bored. Listeners and followers are improving so that makes me smile. I've started the playlist for Sunday, but I need to put it together totally, good thing I still have time before I go live. 

I have been looking more into the sacral chakra and found this article helpful; especially when it speaks about this chakra being balanced can lead to a more harmonious, pleasurable and nurturing life. All of which I desire, I believe the fear is decreasing as I learn more about it and how it functions. I feel as if I'm learning to manage my sexual energy by diving into other creative outlets, such as the blogs and Moon Goddess Radio. Now I just want to find a way to incorporate painting something into the mix. I stumbled upon a quote by Paulo Coelho which says "when you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you achieve it." I feel as if things I want to do are making their way to me in unique ways... I took a few days away from writing to do some introspection and welcome my house guest, which is going well. The puppies are getting along nicely and I am happy about it! I'm also happy about rekindling a relationship that I thought would never be salvaged. I've been smiling all day and thinking about this person with fond thoughts awaiting our next encounter. In the words of Ice Cube "today was like one of those fly dreams"; I keep replaying it in my mind as it was a surprise, a happy surprise! Making me wish next week was tomorrow or now to be honest. I love his company and desire his touch on my skin, it seems like when he's in my life my sacral chakra feels balanced. I get this gush of creativity in my words and expressions that I have not gotten with anyone else's energy. I could go on, but I think it would be the whiskey talking so I won't. 

Until next time,