Words Unspoken

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 “Tell me where you go in these silences and I will say if I have been there.”  

— Naomi Shihab Nye

As "bulletproof soul" plays in the background thoughts of you resurface, I wonder where you are or what you are doing that keeps you away from me. We've taken time apart before, but somehow this feels different; more permanent. I ask myself if I should text or call and the answer keeps coming up "no", I don't know if you want to hear from me or where things would go past "hello". So I leave things as they are, silent.

My heart is full yet there's still a space with your name on it and I don't know what to do with it. How do I erase what you mean to me or whether I should even think that thought. I keep saying "one day I'll..." yet that one day hasn't come. Maybe the days are supposed to go by one at a time until the thoughts of you no longer jar me. Maybe like the song says (paraphrased) I'm haunting you the same way you're haunting me; that's what it feels like though, a haunting of a piece of my love that's been displaced. 

What am I supposed to do with that? Perhaps like the quote says I've been in the space of silence you are in now. Maybe one day we'll discuss, until then...


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