above the clouds

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I am delighted to say this month marks my final chemotherapy session! Next up, radiation then hormone therapy, and I'm done! Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes, they were truly appreciated. The outpouring of support, friendship and love from expected as well as unexpected places truly warmed my heart. Shortly after my final treatment, the nurses came into my room and sang a song for the occasion; later that evening I was asked if I wanted to "ring the bell", I was hesitant then recognized the sentiment of the tradition and decided I would. I even allowed the nurse to take photographs and a video to share with loved ones... 

I made it for my sacred time [during the hours of 4-6 am, daily] if possible I spend time in prayer, meditation or in a creative space with or without music. I feel it's a great way to set the tone for the remainder of the day until the next time. There was a time when I practiced sacred time each day and I believe my life was better for it; that is until mental illness and what seemed to be ungodly energy forced my journey on an unexpected path through various life lessons, sorrow and unhappiness, allowing a few ups with the downs. 

Based on the circumstances of those years I find it difficult to practice a lot of times, so when I do it is a bit more special to me. Especially when I find the words to share on the blogs or social media, it helps me feel connected to you in a way a writer connects with their people. Which brings up how over the past few months I have seen a surge in readership and I am above the clouds with joy; with the consistency I wanted to make sure to acknowledge and share my thanks [again]. 

I am torn, on one hand I want to continue to share my thoughts and embrace the music however, on the other hand I think I should return to my slumber in order to be alert during errands today. I've indulged in Cereal Milk and a new strain [to me] Mimosa, which has me feeling focused and balanced. Seeing how May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I feel as if it is a necessary strain [for me] since it has done a great job of keeping me centered, or rather grounded since I began it. As the Sun arises and I am no closer to a decision perhaps another joint is actually the answer? Not before accessing my state of being as I am already in a fantastic state; where I feel weightless and openminded, optimistic and somewhat free. 

With errands in approximately 3 hours I feel as if I should make a decision soon, but I don't like to rush such things; especially when I have things to do involving driving and the like. The doctors or few people I've spoken with who have experienced chemotherapy did not accurately detail the effects, as I sit here with my limbs feeling like cooked pasta it is amazing that I am able to type these words with ease. It's funny, I'll type a sentence such as the last and shortly after the words wished to express disappear down the train of thought. Making me feel as if the decision has been made and I should enjoy a few more moments of rest before the day actually begins.

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