King Kamille

I've been doing a modified version of the master cleanse for a couple weeks, rather than abstaining from food for the entire ten days I've chosen to eat small portions when hungry; such as fruit, salad, soup, etc. This method is working so far concerning eczema however, the weight loss aspect is rather slow since that is not the primary focus. I find myself being elevated much easier and longer lasting than when not focusing so much on my health, wellbeing lifestyle. During various periods of my adulthood I've tuned in totally to one aspect of myself while neglecting others, these days I am actively making a conscious effort to maintain a complete evaluation of my self (mind, body, soul and spirit).  Last night while admiring the Full Moon, I was in awe to see a "Moonbow" in the night's sky. Interestingly enough, I could not remember the exact reasoning until knowledge from my recent Astronomy course came to mind and I was able to gain another explanation o...

"silence is an ocean. speech is a river. when the ocean is searching for you, don't walk into the river. listen to the ocean." Rumi I've been staring at a blank screen for days... well, weeks. My Summer course ended (I got an A-) and I intended to write an expression entitled "schools out for Summer" then too much time passed now that Fall Semester is quickly approaching so I thought I let the window close for that, so here I am in the mood to write with nothing to say (that I know of). I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind, but they are so rapid I can barely decipher one from another. I've been paying a little too much attention to what's going on in current events and I find myself battling depression. I push through it as I have a lot of things that depend on me to get them done so I don't have the opportunity to stay in bed and tune out the world as I would like to do on some days.  Recognizing areas within myself that I feel is ...

I began this expression several times, deleting the words written for various reasons. Yesterday I was awakened at 2:22 a.m., rather than returning to my dreams I decided to "stay up and write" , it was 5:00 a.m. before there were finally words on the screen. Then I thought to research the angel number 222 , which spoke of balance, harmony, manifestation and other things that have been on my mind in recent days, months I should say. Since returning to college I have been more mindful of my writing and my voice, wanting to express the creative aspect of myself and enjoying the feeling of writing what's in my heart or on my mind without a deadline or grade attached.  A week or two ago I discovered  purple runtz , to my surprise I enjoy it, which is what I had the morning during the time between  wanting  to write and actually writing. Although it is described to have arousing properties, I chose to harness that energy and transmute it into creativity for the purpo...

 “let the beauty we love be what we do.“ Rumi In my last expression   I spoke about wondering if writing inspirational books was the path for me and quite honestly I am still unsure. My initial thought is that I don't want to come across as if I am preaching at my audience, especially since I don't like that feeling of having a writer "preach" to me when I'm reading their work. The more thought I give it, the more I think that is not the path I'd like to journey upon. I acknowledge that when I post my expressions I like to have a positive outlook or outcome regarding the thoughts I've shared or at least hopefulness, maybe even a bit of uplifting however I don't see that as inspirational. Perhaps I need to rethink what inspirational is and how it may fit my style of writing.  Summer is officially here and my class is going well; much easier than I anticipated however, there's about 3 weeks remaining so time will tell if it remains as such. American...

I've been consumed with my course work, preventing me from having the concentration to tap into myself and find the words to share. I've missed you all... I've been fascinated with the latest strain I've tried, Oreoz ; good for anxiety, stress and depression, from my experience. It's been a while since I've been able to be creative and I've missed that aspect of myself. Not even writing in my personal journals, just calendars and course work. I began this expression late February/ early March with rarely the time or thoughts to share. After completing Spring semester I had a thought to write something for "fun" . So here we are... Lately, I've been smoking Cereal Milk and the effects have been as described minus the negatives. I believe it's what's inspired me to write recently; unfortunately, I don't know what to say. So much time has passed without being in a creative space, I seem to have forgotten how to tap into in to it. See...

 "you have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings." Elizabeth Gilbert I feel as if I rushed the completion of the expression prior to this one; it seemed to be a lot, and I had more thoughts coming in so I figured I'd begin again. Pandora is playing many of my favorite songs and the vibe is nice in the atmosphere; as I feel the movements of the retrogrades and direct stations of the planets and their influence on us. In addition to the ending of "Capricorn Season" , which is one of my favorites as well. It seemed as if it would rain today, but only in some areas; unfortunately mine was not one of them.  In the previous expression I mentioned being thankful for my blessings and stumbled upon this quote speaking exactly what my sentiment was when writing earlier. I believe I have now awakened to the opportunities my prayers have manifested, the tarot spread I read weeks ago has stuck with me. I only wish I had documented the readin...

“A soul Moon appeared in the path of my heart. How precious is this journey.”  Rumi Plans didn't go as expected so I had to pivot, I will say I am happy with my decision. I spent New Year's smoking pre-rolls, eating gummy's and enjoying quality time with loved ones. I've been "elevated"  ever since, feeling euphoric with a bit of insightfulness. Recently I was thinking back on my blessings and progress from years past until present times, I remember when I was posting from my phone; I'd write and publish each expression and over time there were those of you reading my words. I am grateful for it, as simple as that may be it feels monumental for me. I believe in recognizing circumstances of adversity and acknowledging the overcoming of them and remaining in a space of gratitude.  I saw rainbows the past few nights, they were beautiful, visited the beach and I also spent time with the Moon. So many of my favorite things all in a short span of time. The music...

I woke up a few minutes before 3am, I ate another gummy; now I'm awaiting it to "kick in" so I can feel the effects. Soon after eating it I had a thought, "I want to write, but I don't know what to say"' so here I am. As Roy Ayers plays in the background singing about the third eye  I feel myself focusing on my own third eye or intuition. I am happy to say I've been better at "listening" to my intuition this year, however there have been some pivotal times when I did not. I am using those instances as "lessons learned" .  I began this expression a few days ago, not knowing what I wanted to share; and honestly I still don't. I feel as if I am one with myself these days, I know that may sound strange; but I feel whole. A feeling I haven't felt in quite sometime; honestly since the diagnosis of anxiety, depression and bipolar disorders. For years, I felt as if I would never feel like "myself" again; and although...

As I scrolled social media, I stumbled upon a quote which reads: "what if you started loving yourself the way you want them to love you?" and I stopped in my tracks. As I pondered that question I realized I'd asked myself that some years ago; which is when I took a deep dive into self-care and self-love. During that time I felt as if I was giving "love" yet I did not feel it reciprocated. Soon after I read a quote by Rumi, which was, " the love you seek is seeking you" . I decided to go inward and find more of the love I had to share and began to share it with myself. I believe at that time was when I introduced the idea of "Kamille Appreciation Day" , which is a day or a few where I spend time with myself; doing anything I want to do with myself during that time.  It was during a "Kamille Appreciation Day" when I decided to return to college nearly 20 years after dropping out. I felt more confident in myself and my goals and tho...

“I can no other answer make, but, thanks, And thanks, and ever thanks.” William Shakespeare I had a tough couple of weeks; however I was surrounded by love and support which made things a bit "easier" to bare. I began writing something entirely different last week, but decided to delete and begin again. I am not sure what I want to share yet, nonetheless I allowed the above quote to remain. In these moments I realized how grateful and thankful I am to be alive. I am appreciative for God; my family and friends who surrounded me in prayers, well-wishes and those who actually came to spend time with me while I was recovering.  When we go through things it seems cliche to say how our health, usually physical is something we are grateful for. I will say although I am still in pain, I am grateful for my physical, mental as well as emotional health.  I'm sure you all are wondering, "what happened?" ; well, I was recently involved in a car accident. I won't go into...

 "observe the wonders as they occur around you. don't claim them. feel the artistry moving through, and be silent" Rumi Days ago I stumbled upon a journal prompt which read "How am I feeling about life at the moment?" ; I later revisited the above quote, for a moment I was silent, pondering the quote and the question. I feel as if I have written this before on the blog, however, currently I am enjoying life; I feel as if various areas are in a "good place" . When I think of those "various areas" , I am thinking mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I feel so many wonders around me, I attribute them to being blessings therefore can not claim them as my own. I see and feel the artistry moving throughout my being and into the atmosphere, putting me in a space of awe in admiration of God's creations. From the views at the beach to the beautiful Sunsets and various phases of the Moon.  The music plays and I recall a time when I w...

His skin is dark as a thousand midnights, chocolate and smooth like velvet. His mind is sharp with quick wit and great imagination; he keeps me wanting to know more with each encounter. When our bodies are intertwined, it's like a thousand midnights; I can't find my way out, and honestly I never want to.  He kissed my forehead and I melted, wanting the kisses in more places; sensual and kind then messy and intense as they explore my body lower and lower. I can't deny the love I feel when he's near me; I feel like giving him all of me and watching him savor the memory we are making. There's years of memories in my mind, creating flashbacks at any given moment. Like, the time he made my body explode five (5) times in one session; that was the most recent memory that comes to mind often. With him I want to go to the edge of the Earth and back again; as long as I he is with me.  I feel like a teenager in love, before the heartbreaks and heartaches; before any jadedness ...

While at the beach I took a relaxing nap, allowing the energy from the ocean and the Sun to cleanse my being and provide "grounding"; as I embraced the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing. As I awakened, I felt refreshed; I feel so "at home" at the beach. The waves call out to me as if to say "come home" , it's the mermaid in me that makes me feel that way. I had thoughts of my lover being there with me, on the lifeguard tower. I believe that thought comes to mind each time I visit the beach. Thoughts of him caressing my skin while looking into my eyes and saying "everything is okay" , Although I've known him for quite some time, I am learning to be comfortable around him again; I know it's because I fear being vulnerable with him.  In the past I used to want to seem perfect to him, now I am more myself; and I feel as if things between he and I are better than they've ever been. Yet, I still have the issue of not necessarily...