King Kamille

I woke up this morning feeling fantastic! I was bored yesterday and I couldn't figure out why, well I knew I would rather be doing something other than what I was doing yet didn't know what that was. I don't like that feeling, however it happens often, unfortunately. My coffee is too hot to drink right now, but I am anticipating the sensation of the coffee mixed perfectly with  berry pie cannabis oil. The coffee is strong and the caramel macchiato creamer brings a beautiful flavor to the drink, no sugar added. I had another person tell me to write a book the other day, I'm starting to feel a bit of pressure causing me to be overwhelmed, then I re-read an expression I wrote in 2013; titled "Morning Coffee" where I quoted Toni Morrison which says "if there is a book you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it" . So I'm thinking of the story I want to tell, initially I thought of doing an autobiography type of book...

This past week I was able to have  "sacred time" and I see the difference in my day, even if I return to my dreams afterwards. I've mentioned that before on the blogs; sacred time is a dedicated time for me to pray, meditate while listening to music or writing, from 4 o'clock until 6 o'clock in the morning. I love being awake when the world is asleep; I feel so connected to GOD at that time, as if it's just me and the Universe, chillin. Incorporating sacred time into my day has made a significant improvement since I began it years ago; I believe it was Queen Afua who mentioned it on a radio show I was listening to at the time and immediately I set it in my calendar for a daily event. For some reason I was lead to pull out a book from my shelf by Florence Scovel Shinn; The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn   and decided to focus on the law of nonresistance . I found myself resisting the circumstances of last Monday as written on "unpinned"  and tho...

 “you can not repeatedly disappoint somebody & expect their energy to still crave you.” from Facebook; name withheld for privacy I had an experience the other day which made me mad; if you know me in real life, you'd know that I may get upset briefly , but I rarely get mad. I actually went to bed mad, which is even more unusual. I was hurt and disappointed by someone's actions; or should I say inaction. I'd gotten to the point where I was fed up so I sent a text and put my phone on "do not disturb" , however I have yet (as of writing these words) to receive a response. I feel as if that person is "waiting me out" so to speak, maybe trying to allow my anger to pass before engaging; not knowing that is only making things worse. I think in this day and age, more and more, people take kindness and patience for granted. Everyone's so quick to "ghost" people that when someone actually gives second and at times third or forth chances they a...

"be who you need" unknown I often joke saying "I need a Me in my life" ; when I began saying that years ago I wasn't fully sure what I meant. As time went on and I experienced a particular level of aloneness I felt as if I didn't have a person in my life who checks on me the way I check in with others. After reading a meme recently, which said,  "I wanna meet myself from another person's point of view and experience my own energy." I understand my joke a little more now than when I originally thought it, during that time is when I first learned about the concept of self-care and self-love and I began to drench myself in those things before they became "buzz words" . I learned to listen to my thoughts as they may become my feelings and/or emotions; to listen to my heart as it knows what I need at any given moment and to listen to my Soul as it guides me through the unknown. By doing so I can observe my behaviors and manage myself in...

Insomnia has arrived; I found myself searching for something to do in the wee hours of the morning since I am awake while the world is asleep. So I turn the music on and pulled out the laptop to see what words hit the page; I also was lead to read a post or two (2) from 2020 where I wrote about my Ice Princess well, Ice Queen ways. I wrote that nearly a year ago and although I see progress, I feel as if I may still be in that space; hmmm not completely though. In April I joined quite a few dating apps and met a couple cool people; with them I have been my authentic self however I am uncertain that I've gotten the same in return. I don't dwell there as everyone is on whatever stage of their particular journey; however I've since hidden my pages and decided not to meet anyone new. As I re-read Ice Queen I was reminded of a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald, which says: "there are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice." I think I may have been ...

I recently shared about my feelings of loneliness on comfort zones and no drafts , for some time I have felt bored; well some time ago I realized the feeling was actually loneliness and I wasn't sure if I wanted to dive any deeper into the subject on the blogs, but a friend encouraged me to do so. With the other blog I used to write about whatever was on my mind, however with this one I seemed to have shied away from speaking about sex and/or my sexuality. That comes up because I've been attempting to transmute this over-active sex drive I seem to be experiencing lately into something creative; seeing how I'm sharing more and exploring other outlets (hosting a radio show, for example) ; I realize my efforts are showing some results yet the yearning to be close to someone lingers on. Not to be close to just anyone, but a particular someone.  I was reminded of my journey through abstinence some years ago and re-read some posts I shared in 2014, one in particular, Honesty Ho...

After much debate with myself I decided to re-publish the 225 drafts mentioned on the other blog . Initially I began re-reading various posts and at times cringing, but I left them; unedited. I figure that's the space I was in at the time and the words I chose to share so why edit? Also, how else could we see my growth as a woman or as a writer? How else would you relate to some of the things I share now without some point of reference? So there it is for you to experience and for me to revisit as necessary.  Reflecting on the past expressions I notice I do not speak so freely regarding any of the lovers who may have gone or come, well in my own  vague way perhaps. That's very noticeable especially with the expressions published in 2010, from the few entries I read I was in love yet the lover had gone and I was heartbroken. I am happy to say that is not the case any longer; I am fully, totally and completely over him (🥳). I wrote most in 2012, which is interesting becau...

"the inspiration you seek is already within you. be silent and listen" Rumi I created a playlist and started a radio station on an app called Amp; I surprised myself and had a lot of fun. I find myself to be in introvert so public speaking is clearly not my favorite thing to do, but this was easy. I think I need to find more to say however allowing the music to speak for me was helpful. I cooked with a strain called Berry Pie  which is said to have the effect of talkativeness so I'll be doing something else with that as I broadcast my next show (scheduled for Sunday). As I spoke on current view about experiencing new fruit; I am happy to find another creative outlet to express myself. I'd like to take a moment to thank one of my best friends for introducing me to the arena of broadcasting. Who would've thought I'd actually do a show? I know I didn't. I'm glad I did because that took away a fear that was holding me back in some way, now that I've ...

"you've made magic out of your wounds and that gives you every right to be cautious about who is allowed to experience you. the fruits of your healing are not for everyone to bite into" @iambrillyant (instagram) Lately I've been in a mood I can't quite describe; normally I would allow it to process and pass, but this mood is a bit different. I want it to stay; to transmute into creativity and show up on the blog. I felt the urge to write and I am not sure yet how the above quote factors into the words to come, but I am certain they will make sense by the end. I've written countless times of my heartbreak and recovering from such, now I want to write about love sometimes; not being in love, but love itself. I want to express the love I have in my heart for so many things aside for my love of the Moon and the beach. I find myself in a space where I simply love life; the circumstances aren't perfect, but I am feeling the happiness of what it means to be lo...

 "Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All the unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go." Jamie Anderson One of the last times I saw my Dad was on Father's Day; 2018, nearly a month before he passed away. I think of him often and miss him dearly. I think of how he raised me and the lessons he taught me along with the love and friendship we shared. As Father's Day approaches I noticed my mood changing from sad to grief, not knowing what to do with the love I have for him since he is no longer physically on Earth to share it with. Typically for Father's Day, my brother, sister-in-law and Dad would go to lunch or dinner followed by the beach. We'd smoke and maybe play cards and there was lots of laughter. I miss my Dad's laugh, it was contagious! His smile could light up a room and his ...

“Inside you there’s an artist you don’t know about… say yes quickly, if you know, if you’ve known it from before the beginning of the universe.” Rumi When I sit to write I try to clear my mind and allow the words to flow through me, sometimes I get stuck wondering what is too much to share verses what is enough. I'm working on just sharing and not being concerned with either, to allow the art of words to form in their own special way. The past two months have been quite interesting as various changes have taken place allowing me to see growth in ways only particular circumstances would provide. I feel as if I have tapped into a space within myself that is free and childlike; perhaps my inner child has gotten some healing that was much needed. I feel the Universe speaking to me, through the music; the Moon, tarot cards, etc. Speaking of, I pulled a card the other day which spoke to me and was a bit of a confirmation of sorts.  I used a deck from  Mystic Mondays   which is ...