champagne and reefer

This past week I was able to have "sacred time" and I see the difference in my day, even if I return to my dreams afterwards. I've mentioned that before on the blogs; sacred time is a dedicated time for me to pray, meditate while listening to music or writing, from 4 o'clock until 6 o'clock in the morning. I love being awake when the world is asleep; I feel so connected to GOD at that time, as if it's just me and the Universe, chillin. Incorporating sacred time into my day has made a significant improvement since I began it years ago; I believe it was Queen Afua who mentioned it on a radio show I was listening to at the time and immediately I set it in my calendar for a daily event. For some reason I was lead to pull out a book from my shelf by Florence Scovel Shinn; The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn and decided to focus on the law of nonresistance. I found myself resisting the circumstances of last Monday as written on "unpinned" and thought to send a message then decided not to as my last message was clear regarding my feelings at the time. The thing with being bipolar is my feelings can change from one minute to the next; so I try my best not to say or do things out of temporary emotions. I suppose I "owe" an update regarding "unpinned"; I sent a text, basically saying I wanted to continue communicating however I was upset and stood by my words. Since the text we've spoken and saw one another... I feel as if my expectations may have been too high while I did have a "right" to feel the way I felt I may have been a bit unfair because of said expectations. I made it clear that I was single yet on some level I expected him to behave as a boyfriend would while I had no intentions of "acting" as his girlfriend. It took me a minute to put that all together, but I'm glad I did and I'm also glad our communication picked up with "a breath of fresh air" as they say. So at this stage we are working towards being friends and leaving it at that for now. 

I slept a lot yesterday; I think the past week caught up with me, now I feel rested and ready for the show. I did an impromptu show on Saturday and had quite a few listeners and new followers which was encouraging. I'm working on not flooding my instagram feed with Moon Goddess Radio promo, but it seems I'm a little obsessed. I typically don't share photos of food or selfies so it takes time and effort to find content without doing so. I realize I may need to get out of the house more, but with temperatures in the triple digits; I am not too inclined to do that. I'm comfortable inside, it's cool in here even without the air conditioner on. Saturday while doing the show I wanted to open this champagne I've had in the refrigerator for a while, but I was unable to open the bottle; which is why it's been in the fridge for so long. I think it may be burned by now so I'm tempted to throw it out; maybe a dumpster diver will find it as a treasure how they say "one person's trash...". I felt like writing this weekend however the words did not find me, until now hopefully; I feel as if there's something to express I just haven't learned what it is just yet. The music is playing and dinner has been made; funny thing, before and while cooking I was so hungry, now that it's ready my appetite seemed to have vanished. I ate anyway since all I had was a few pieces of watermelon and some juice; I feel satisfied, not full or stuffed. 

I don't have many plans for the upcoming week with the exception of a puppy play date, a nail appointment and possibly a hair appointment. So I need to find something to do to keep me occupied and out of boredom; I planned to start Queen Afua's book "Sacred Woman" accompanied by the concurrent journal. I purchased the set in mid-2018 however I've only flipped through it here and there; this time I intend to read it from cover to cover while entering the necessary information in it's journal. I think I'm in a space now where it will be beneficial to me to learn more about my feminine body and how to mesh these teachings with the knowledge and wisdom I already have about it. As I began preparing for the show I had an idea to make a drink using my Berry Pie cannabis oil or smoke some Animal Mints reefer. I was in the mood to get a little tipsy for lack of a better term. I haven't been doing much lately so the other night I felt drunk after one sip of my whiskey; of course I finished the small amount I had and was happy to be home so it wouldn't have any negative affects. 

I don't know why this expression seems difficult to write, I suppose I don't have much to say and I feel like I'm wasting such a good title for it. Right now I will admit I'm a little bored; currently listening to music and smoking, awaiting inspiration to find me and write something captivating. The truth is, I'd rather be doing my radio show or listening to my friend's @kingleopicasso or @darlinglandie's shows. I feel as if I want to be doing something creative since I have all of this energy; especially since it's still early and I slept most of the day away. I think I'm in a mood because I just thought to delete everything I've written so far and start again; unfortunately I still don't have any new words to share. Today someone approached me asking for help starting a blog and that made me smile; I suppose they've been reading the blog(s) and thought I'd be a good mentor. I've never really been a mentor before; well not on purpose so this is a new adventure for me, hopefully it goes well. I guess that's where I'll end things for now. 

Until next time...