she bathes in lava

In my last expression fool's paradise I mentioned meeting a gentleman in August as we experienced the Black Moon, that man was no ordinary man; he was a Dragon!

Three months of fireworks and the magical way we danced in darkness 

As a few Moon cycles have come and gone, so has his presence. I barely remember him although it was just about a week ago that we agreed to go our separate ways. 

The last time may have been the most intoxicating yet the perfect way to say "goodbye"...

I normally avoid goodbyes, as the Elders have a saying "every shut eye ain't sleep and every goodbye ain't gone" however, with this one I knew it was a nail in the coffin of our limited relationship.

Since we've parted ways I was reminded of my Ice Princess turned Ice Queen ways. As I revisited the sentiments expressed I thought of the Dragon I had the pleasure of assisting in his training. 

I thought to share the space in my heart that he helped mend- a ghost town, I do not recall the time of abandonment yet it was vast all the same. It was not a space abandoned by another as many stories may begin. I abandoned it myself and long forgot about her...

My Vampire King

An aspect of myself that scared me while intimidating me when I recognized it in my former lover. It's a fire breathing Dragon with a sophisticated allure which stayed within the shadow of my self in such darkness that I allowed society to make me believe it was "evil" or where "hate" resided. 

The issue with the baby Dragon [he was 37 in human age] which was the route to our demise. The way in which his nonverbal communication caught my attention was foretold in previous expressions. His accent from a southern state was the whipped cream on the milkshake [one of the first treats we indulged- as we visited Honeymoon Cove within hours of meeting each other] enjoying fantasies I've envisioned for many Moons. Until the Moon phase changed and the "demons" he carries did not mesh well with mine [due to the fact that mine are actually my best friends]. 

When he said I was "The Devil" I felt seen as it was not the first time being accused of such. When he said I was a Vampire, I felt understood however when he began to hurl insults directed solely at the Capricorn aspects of my being I knew we would not stand the test of time.

As a farewell I must acknowledge the beast of a man I had the pleasure of "getting my groove back" with! 

Many of you know I am in remission from breast cancer and recovery from a stroke... well, not to sound corny, but that man's stroke knocked me out of menopause!!! He aligned chakras and re-activated my kundalini in a way that I had never experienced with another person in this lifetime!

His tall manly frame, deep southern drawl, the way he kept his hands and lips on me "whew" I told him I wanted to be his forever and I meant it!

The trouble began as he felt I was untruthful as I shared with him of my choosing. Upon meeting him, with the exception of my first love, no one else would be an issue and we were free to be whatever we chose for as long as we chose it.

It happened that the day we met was a day I was discharged from the hospital regarding mental health issues so my talkativeness was misunderstood as I regained my "senses" and he was confused as to how I could refer to someone as my lover and within hours make it known not only that I am totally single, but I recognized his Soul from another life or something and knew it was love [reciprocated].

It was hilarious when he jokingly inquired if I were a prostitute by the way I'd refreshed my muscle memory of my days of gymnastics, tennis, and five mile walks. That man twisted and turned me ways that an ex comes to mind as he said something about my flexibility as if I don't have bones...

The final straw was the insistence of me being a liar, promiscuous, and out to snatch his soul due to being demonic. It was in that moment I knew whichever realm or dimension our souls connected was not one along my journey yet a brief and happy pitstop along the way.

Al Green "For the Good Times" plays as I prepare my bowl of ground flower and concentrates followed by a bite of a mushroom. One last thought of his kisses and deep strokes calculating my divine feminine with precision, I suppose it was my divine masculine that could not be avoided.

The creature that remains is like none imagined prior to this encounter and despite the fact I will always remember "how I trained a dragon" I will not dwell in the details as that may lead to a heartache I do not know when it will be quenched.

Returning to team abstinence for the unforeseeable future, I am convinced of a love I've been writing about since the beginning of time. When I reflect on the other blog as a girl torn between a dumb ass, my favorite, and the tough guy who would outlast them all - transforming into my lover only to return to the tough guy who doesn't mesh well will the many aspects of my being.

I won't say I lost hope, but I will say I am no longer settling or shrinking to be digestible when it comes to romance, love, and the earth shattering way I was adored for the past three months. The things expressed weeks prior to meeting him written in once in a Black Moon and the experience within itself has been sent out to sea as it was preordained. 

Unfortunately, the chokehold of "good", "evil" and self righteousness was too strong for our love to last. The beauty from the ashes of this rendezvous was my willingness to love, express love, and truly embrace being taken to a paradise where lust, love, and honesty dwell [if only the truth found its way there as well...]

Nevertheless, the fire breathing, lava bathing, Dragon- Unicorn hybrid of a girl from my youth has been reborn; never to be subjected to silence again.

I call it my "villain era" but in all honesty it's simply me being unapologetic about my authentic self and the world will deal!